


we've been so tortured by all of this

by jumbled_sentiment



Series: there are no rules [3]
Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Communication, Developing Relationship, F/M, First Dates, Getting to Know Each Other, Light Angst, M/M, OT3, POV Wolfgang Bogdanow, Polyamory, Post-Sense8 Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:31:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumbled_sentiment/pseuds/jumbled_sentiment
Summary: “Now, I’ll ask you again,” she whispered. “Are you ready?”“As I’ll ever be.”//Part of a series but can be read as a stand-alone, I think.





	1. we're moving forward

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is part one of three. The second two parts are a lot more interaction-heavy, this one sort of sets the scene. I hope it isn't boring or lacking too much in interaction. It isn't to me, but I wrote it so I may be biased. This entire work took me much longer to write than any other, and I've put so much more into it. I absolutely love it so far (probably shouldn't say that about my own writing, but I do) and I hope others will love it too! Or even like it, slightly!
> 
> The title, and each of the chapter titles, are lyrics from Tender - Erode.

Wolfgang Bogdanow did not, as a rule, get nervous. He was a fighter, born to survive and living to die. There is nothing that can impress nerves onto a man who has taken human life without thought or consequence. Not sex, not violence, not death, not life; nothing made Wolfgang nervous. Nothing, it seemed, except something. As unlikely as it was, at that exact moment, Wolfgang Bogdanow was absolutely terrified. 

Three weeks ago, he had decided to relocate his life to India, along with his best friend, brother and actual partner in crime, Felix Brenner. In those three weeks, he had trawled endlessly through listings upon listings before finally finding something that ticked all of their boxes. It was a two-bedroom apartment to rent, available immediately and only a ten-minute walk from where Kala and Rajan had called home before all of this began. Thrilled, he’d booked a viewing for the first available date and time, under the name of Kala Dandekar. Considering he and Felix were approximately five thousand miles away in Paris, it only made sense to see it through her eyes. After Nomi and Amanita’s wedding, neither man had been willing to put an end to their stay. One by one, they had bidden goodbye to their friends as they gradually returned to their lives, both wary of and excited for their new found freedom. Two weeks into their stay however, Wolfgang had decided that enough was enough. There was no need to divide up his time between the people he loved when he could have them all in one place. Since he and Felix were the ones without ties, it made sense that they should be the ones to do the moving. 

As soon as Kala had confirmed the apartment’s existence, Wolfgang and Felix had offered up a deposit to secure their find. Once that was done, they had each signed their new tenancy agreement, electronically pinning themselves in India for a minimum of six months. Nomi had placed both men in her eternal debt, pulling a lot of very large and important strings to bypass official channels and grant them entry into the country without an employment visa. 

Wolfgang had signed them up to a landline and internet package, bought two new sim cards, set up a standing order to pay their rent each month and created accounts with their water, gas and electric providers. He’d booked himself and Felix each a one-way flight to Mumbai and arranged their transport from the airport to their new place of residence. He’d even bought new clothes to accommodate for the impending change of climate. With the help of Felix, Wolfgang had sorted and organised their entire lives. The one thing he hadn’t done, was stop. The man hadn’t taken a breath, never mind a minute to himself and he was exhausted. What only he knew, was that it had all been done intentionally. Even Kala Dandekar, a woman with whom he shared a mind, hadn’t been able to delve into this secret. 

Wolfgang had never, in his whole life, loved somebody as completely as he loved Kala. He knew that if he stopped, it he took a moment, if he allowed himself to _think_ , he wouldn’t stop thinking. He would panic, he would question and analyse and doubt and worry. He would convince himself that this whole idea was stupid; it was utterly naïve, ridiculous and nonsensical. A disaster waiting to happen. So, he kept going. He planned, he sorted and he organised. He kept himself busy doing everything he needed to do, but he absolutely did not _think_. 

It worked, too. Three weeks it had taken him. Three weeks to move himself and Felix to India, to move their lives from one country to another. It had helped that they hadn’t wanted to keep anything from their lives in Germany; they hadn’t been back since Wolfgang had been tazered and snatched from his own home. Something that, now, could have been a decade ago. Wolfgang knew, as he stood in their new home, bare feet pressed against the cool, charcoal tiles, that it may as well have been. 

“Are you ready, Wolfgang?” 

Kala Dandekar was a patient woman, but even she drew the line at her date still being in a state of undress five minutes after he was supposed to meet her at the restaurant. Wolfgang had managed to contain his nerves well over the recent weeks but today, they had spilled over. Finally, fully moved in and without sufficient distraction, his anxiety had painted a picture of disaster before the night had even began. In a futile attempt to cope, he had taken up procrastination as a full-time profession and, of course, Kala had noticed. 

That morning, after opening the empty fridge and un-stocked cupboards, he had taken it upon himself to walk to the shops, fill an entire trolley and hike it all the way back home. His chosen route was a long, rambling road along the outskirts of Mumbai. His pace remained a slow saunter and, naturally, he’d stopped several times to admire the view of the city he now lived in. Upon arriving home, he had noticed a few slight streaks adorning each pane of the French windows that led out onto their fair-sized balcony and decided that, obviously, the only time that they could possibly be cleaned was at that very moment. After both panes were sparkling, he decided to wash and dry the dishes from last nights’ takeaway, clean the oven that they had yet to use, scrub the bathroom, sweep the floors and unpack all of his newly purchased clothes. Wolfgang was fully aware that he had agreed to meet Kala and Rajan outside of their chosen restaurant at seven, but only when it was well past six, did he finally begin the process of getting ready. 

Oh, and what a process it became. First, he had to shower. In keeping with his entire day, Wolfgang had switched his standard of showers from quick, efficient and utilitarian, to long, extravagant and actually rather unnecessary. By the time he had exhausted this avenue of avoidance, his fingers were decidedly no longer fingers, but prunes. Then, he spent more time pondering what to wear than he ever had in his whole life. After spending a quarter of an hour choosing between two identical pairs of jeans, he was beyond plausible deniability. He would have been looking at fashionably late in the rear-view mirror, even if he’d left for the restaurant at that very second. It was at that point that Kala had decided to put him out of his misery. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. 

It was a simple question, but one that Wolfgang had never felt less able to answer. Miraculously, though, he didn’t have to. 

“You’re nervous,” Kala said. 

He didn’t want to be, but he was. He was embarrassed too; at the way he’d been acting. It was something else that he knew he shouldn’t feel, but couldn’t seem to help it. 

“It’s okay,” she soothed. “Me too.” 

All at once, he was experiencing the warmth of the sun and the smell of jasmine and marigold, while at the same time being soaked by a downpour in an outdoor café, the taste of strong coffee still in his mouth. He was in hysterics, launching snowballs and tumbling to the ground and not even bothering to pull himself back up. They were in the privacy of Kala’s bedroom, belting “what’s going on?” at the top of their lungs, with the glare of a spotlight in their eyes and the rumble of a crowd in their ears. They were flying, perched atop a convertible with the wind screaming all around them, singing every lyric to a song that they’d never even heard before. 

He was with Kala, in the same way that he’d always been. He was nervous and she was nervous too. They were both nervous and that was okay. 

“I’ve made us late.” 

There was no apology in his words, but Kala heard it in his voice and felt it deep within him. The last thing she wanted was for a man she loved, for any man, to apologise for feeling the way that he felt. 

“Rajan is trying on his third shirt of the night, and I know he’s not going to wear this one either,” she sighed. Through her own eyes, she gave Wolfgang a glimpse of her husband just in time for him to catch sight of himself in the mirror, pull a slight frown and begin unbuttoning his shirt. 

Back in Wolfgang’s apartment, she tried to contain her amusement at her husband, as her lover had clearly been no more successful. For all his indecision, Wolfgang had only yet managed to scrape together an outfit of jet-black jeans, coffee-coloured brogues and a bare chest. It was a stark contrast to his usual attire of heavy combat boots, a dark t-shirt, dark jeans and a dark jacket. Kala thought he looked lovely in both. 

“This one,” she admired, smoothing her fingers along the silk of a light blue button up. It was the fourth of five shirts that Wolfgang had strewn across his bed in a desperate attempt to maintain control of a situation that had long since slipped from his grasp. 

He mumbled a, "Thank you,” before taking the shirt from its hanger and pulling it over his head. Only when he reached the second button from the top did Kala move, gently placing her hand over his own. 

“Leave it,” she murmured. 

A slight pause. “Okay.” 

It was then that, for the first time that night, he really looked at her. She’d allowed her curls to hang free, pinning only a few pieces up and out of her face to form a striking circlet around her head. It was a well refined hairstyle, each strand carefully coiled to give the impression that it hadn’t been, but Wolfgang had been privy to her elaborate means of achieving this type of beauty one too many times to fall for the effortless façade. As usual, she’d kept her make-up subtle. Her features were enhanced in a way that was mostly unnoticeable, save from the touch of colour on her lips that pulled them out into something that Wolfgang had to resist kissing. 

The colour of her dress, he thinks, is blush; though, he would have more closely associated that word with the deep, dark red of embarrassment. It gently hugs her form, the body extending to the middle of her thigh while the sleeves finish just above her elbow. In its entirety, it's coated in a sophisticated pattern of lace and roses. The only sections of solid colour are the skirt and a thick stripe around her chest, while the rest is decorated with an intricate blending of fabric and skin. 

One thing that Wolfgang has never made a habit of paying attention to is the shoes that a person is wearing. Tonight, though, he couldn’t help but notice Kala's. In a wickedly surprising combination, she had paired her delicate, blush dress with an astonishing pair of emerald high heels. They were taller than anything she usually wore, elevating her almost to his level. Two thin straps were lashed across her toes, with another buckled around her ankle. If he were made to guess, he would pin the material as suede. All he knew for certain however, was that these shoes undeniably caught, and held, his attention. Perhaps, it was more to do with the woman who was wearing them than it was the items themselves. 

The only jewellery she wore were her rings, both wedding and engagement. Wolfgang had once resented the sight of these on Kala. His empathy had wanted to remove them from her finger and his desire had wanted to replace them with his own. Now, he thinks nothing of them. They are simply a part of who she is. Kala is a married woman and she wears these rings to symbolise her loyalty and fidelity, as does Rajan. 

Finally, Wolfgang stumbled upon his favourite part of Kala’s outfit tonight. It was the ease with which she wore it, the pure confidence oozing from her very core. In that moment, he was taken back to a time when Kala had shocked every part of herself, including Wolfgang, by calmly ripping bullets through a car’s metal body and spilling a stream of fuel right into their path, just waiting to be set alight. Which she then did, without hesitation, causing a beautifully convenient explosion and likely saving all of their lives. She had been so certain, so unmoving in her conviction that she was doing the right thing, just as she was now. No longer ashamed and confused and so desperately alone, she had stopped doubting her morals and questioning her integrity. Wolfgang could see her pride, and he could feel it. Kala was proud of who she was and what she had done. With a husband and a lover, she was not the slightest bit ashamed; not of herself, and certainly not of them. 

“Now, I’ll ask you again,” she whispered. “Are you ready?” 

“As I’ll ever be.” 

“We’ll be leaving in five minutes, hopefully.” 

Wolfgang slipped his hand out from underneath hers and placed it with his other around her waist. “See you there,” he promised, before leaning forward to press his lips against hers. It was a sweet and simple kiss, lasting only a moment, and when Kala opened her eyes, it was not upon her lover, but her husband. 

“Rajan, are you ready?” 

“That depends. Is this acceptable?” he gestured towards himself, wide eyed and slightly frantic. 

“You look wonderful,” Kala replied, and she meant it.


	2. we're one step closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wolfgang smirked. “Well, I was swimming-” 
> 
> “Naked,” Kala interjected. 
> 
> “Who swims with clothes on?” Wolfgang demanded. 
> 
> "Ordinary people,” she chimed in.

Wolfgang was the first to arrive. He propped himself against the stone-grey wall that bordered the sand and sea of the Mumbai coast and let the sound of waves crashing into waves soothe over him as he waited. Kala had been periodically popping in and out of his thoughts since they last spoke so he knew that she and Rajan were on their way, but it still took him a moment to recognise them. Kala and Rajan are beautiful every day of their lives, but this was different. Focusing entirely on the swoosh and swell of the tide, he had seen his dates approaching but, for a split second, he had not _seen_ them. As he did, one single word chimed resolutely through his head. Magnificent. 

Like him, Kala and Rajan had chosen to walk to the restaurant. As they strolled hand in hand along the promenade, Wolfgang couldn’t help but think that they looked exactly like any other couple. Husband and wife, dressed to impress each other and nobody else. He smiled, knowing that the reality could not have been more different. Husband and wife, they were. Dressed to impress each other, of course. But, their plans for tonight spoke nothing of monogamy and they had dressed just as much with Wolfgang in mind as they had with each other. 

It appeared that Rajan had finally settled upon a shirt to wear. It was sapphire, with detailing in a lighter shade of blue and a deep ruby coating the collar and cuffs. The pattern swirling through the depths of his shirt, Wolfgang believed, was known as paisley. Whatever it was called, it was his favourite style on Rajan, though he had yet to mention that to the man himself. Rajan had then opted for slacks, a different pair than when Wolfgang had last seen him, to match the purplish tone adorning the edges of his button up. Completing the outfit were a pair of patent black dress shoes that struck the ideal balance between excessive and pedestrian. Wolfgang always enjoyed seeing Rajan flourish in his fashion, expressing himself in a way that he himself had never attempted to. Predictably, Rajan’s dark beard, with the grey tinges that Wolfgang found endearing, had been trimmed and combed to perfection while his thick, textured hair had been left relatively untouched. 

Kala was the first to greet him. “Hey you,” she spoke softly, while Rajan offered him a warm smile. 

“Hello Wolfgang.” 

All day he had fought to quell the trepidation that simmered beneath the surface of his skin, without success. He'd known it wasn’t justified, but he simply couldn’t help it. Now, he wanted nothing more than to turn back time and clock himself over the head for letting his nerves get the better of him because, in that moment, Wolfgang was exactly where he wanted to be. 

“Kala, Rajan” he said, nodding to each of them in turn. 

Where he had been drowning in fear, he now felt nothing but pure anticipation. The anxiety that had been so real, he’d been convinced he could reach out and touch it, was gone. The fire burning brightly within him had been stomped on and smothered out until all that remained were the flickering embers, insignificant when compared to the sheer exhilaration flooding through his veins. Naturally, Wolfgang made every effort to cover himself with a mask of indifference, but he quickly decided that it would have been easier to capture the moon and a dozen stars and force them underneath his skin with no chance of escape. Still, he knew that the seemingly infinite energy swarming through his body did not all belong to him. It was a comfort, to know that no matter what he felt, others felt it too. He wasn't the only one who felt as if he was being held together by a string so frayed, it's a wonder it could even be pulled taught. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Rajan hesitated, “but, I thought we could sit outside tonight. It really is a lovely space and there’s heaters outside so we shouldn’t get cold, and if we do, we can always ask to move indoors.” 

Rajan had addressed them both, but Wolfgang knew that the question was aimed at him. Kala and Rajan have done this before, many times, and are undoubtedly familiar with each other's tastes and preferences. They must have their own dynamic, an understanding of what works for them, together. Rajan does not need to ask Kala whether or not she would like to sit outside tonight. Wolfgang, however, is brand new territory for him, and Rajan has a lot to learn about the other man. 

“That sounds wonderful,” Kala reassured. “Wolfgang?” 

“Fine by me,” he nodded. 

“Great,” Rajan beamed, spinning around making his way to the main entrance. As he headed directly to the front desk, situated in a slightly obscure corner of the room, it was abundantly clear that this was not his first time at this restaurant. 

“Seven pm reservations under Rasal. My apologies Aakash, I know we are a tad late.” 

“Not a problem, sir,” came the response. “Right this way.” 

Rajan had not been lying about the heaters, Wolfgang thought, as they were led outside through doors open so wide, they could barely be considered doors. Pouring out light and heat in equal measure, each pyramid of fire towered well above any of them. The moment Wolfgang stepped outside, feeling the cool breeze paired with the warm, comforting touch of flame, he was exceptionally grateful that Rajan had suggested they eat outdoors. The setting was undeniably romantic; each small blaze, contained in their vast traps of stainless-steel, combined with the natural glow of the sunset and the candles that flickered on every table, made for quite the idyllic backdrop. 

First to reach their table was Rajan. Seemingly without conscious thought, he pulled out a chair for Kala, who sent him a grateful smile before sitting down. The instant Kala took her seat, Rajan wondered whether he should have done the same for Wolfgang, who had simply settled himself down next to Kala instead. Had Wolfgang found it rude that he hadn’t, or would he have found it patronising if he had? In truth, Wolfgang had not spared it a second thought but, for Rajan, his first had spiralled into a myriad of others. He is on a date with two people at the same time. What are the rules? How would they split the bill? They’ve already had sex; does that mean it is expected to happen again tonight? 

Belatedly, Rajan realised that he was the only one left standing, and quickly moved to seat himself across from Wolfgang. 

“Can I get you started with some papadums for the table?” Aakash asked, handing each of them a menu. 

Rajan shook his head. “We’re okay, thank you.” 

As quickly as the words had escaped his mouth, he wanted nothing more than to cram them violently back in. He remained frozen, his hand halfway to his open mouth, but neither Kala nor Wolfgang noticed his internal horror. 

“I’ll give you a moment to browse the drinks menu,” Aakash smiled. 

As soon as he had retreated, Rajan spoke. “I’m sorry, Wolfgang,” he cringed. “I should have asked you.” 

Wolfgang frowned. “Asked me what?” 

“Aakash, he asked...” Rajan trailed off. 

A moment passed before either of them caught on. Rajan had answered Aakash’s question for the three of them, without asking Wolfgang what he wanted. It was painfully insignificant, but it clearly mattered to Rajan. It was obvious then that this, whatever it was, would be a work in progress. Any relationship takes effort but, from the beginning, this one had always been more complicated than most. It would take time and practice for the three of them to stop feeling as if they were fumbling around in the dark because, in essence, that was exactly what they were doing. 

“It’s fine,” Wolfgang shook his head. 

Though decidedly unconvinced, Rajan said nothing more on the subject. Both men are grateful of Kala’s interjection. 

“Rajan is more of a wine expert than you or I. Usually, I just let him choose a bottle to share.” 

“Wait a minute,” Wolfgang grumbled. “How do you know I’m not a wine expert?” 

“Because if you were, I would be too.” 

With that, Wolfgang broke out into a pure, unadulterated and unashamed grin. On a date with the woman he loved, he didn't have to hide a single thing. He could tease and laugh and flirt and joke and it was okay, it was allowed. The delight coursing through him was, without a doubt, incomparable to anything else he had ever felt. 

“Go ahead, Rajan,” he smiled. 

“Do you have a preference, red or white?” 

“No preference.” 

While Rajan considered the menu, Wolfgang took a moment to examine the surrounding space. The closest people to them were at least ten feet away, many of the tables not yet being occupied. As he watched an extensive amount of divine looking food being carried out to another couple, Wolfgang decided to always let Rajan pick the restaurant. 

He glanced up, feeling a gentle hand rest on his thigh, knowing it belonged to Kala even before he looked. He also knew that if anybody were to glance over, they would see her hand exactly where it lay, on his leg. But when she spoke, he knew that less than ten people in the entire world could have heard her voice, and none of them were around to listen. 

_“Are you okay?”_

He answered quickly, and honestly. _“I’m okay. Are you?"_

_“Very much so.”_

Only when Aakash returned, to bring the bottle of wine that Rajan had requested, do they stop gazing at each other with lovesick expressions worthy of a cameo in any in any tragically cloying romantic comedy feature. The air was filled with a comfortable silence as Aakash poured out their drinks, until Wolfgang made the move to break it. 

“How did you find this place, Rajan?” 

“Well, it was actually shown to me by one of our directors,” Rajan explained. “Sometimes, the only way to make our longer meetings more bearable is to have them over good food and drinks, and she suggested this place. I thought it was beautiful, and very romantic, so I brought Kala.” 

“The first time we came here, I absolutely adored it,” Kala added. “We’ve been back many times.” 

“What about you two?” Rajan started. “Have you ever... dated?” 

Wolfgang and Kala are a mirror of one another, both shaking their heads somewhat frenetically. 

“No, no, nothing like that. This,” she gestured between herself and Wolfgang, “it was more... accidental.” 

“You could say that,” he scoffed. “When we first met, she thought I was a vision from Ganesha.” 

“Well, what was I supposed to think?” she demanded. 

“She kept calling me a demon." 

At that, there wasn’t a straight face left at the table. Throwing their faux outrage to the wind, they let go. They laughed and laughed until they thought they might cry, then they laughed some more. They were revelling in the joy of their memories, all the while creating new ones. 

Once the table had regained enough composure, Rajan asked, “How did you two meet?” 

“Gradually,” Wolfgang responded. “At first it was, more of a feeling. I would see her everywhere, all the time, but when I looked too closely, she was gone.” 

“That sounds rather, confusing? Frustrating?” Rajan offered. 

“Both,” Kala replied. “The first time we met properly was, karaoke?” she asked, turning to look at Wolfgang. 

He nodded. “Then after that, the first time we spoke, she thought I was some drunk guy who’d wandered up from her father’s restaurant.” 

“What was I supposed to think?” she exclaimed. “I could hear your voice in my bedroom!” 

By the time Aakash returned to take their order, they were still laughing, not one of them having looked at the dishes on offer. Being familiar with the menu, Kala and Rajan both ordered something that they’d previously enjoyed, while Wolfgang simply chose a meal at random and requested that, utterly unbothered by what he would receive. 

“That must have been very unsettling,” Rajan remarked when they were alone again. 

“It was,” Kala agreed. “Speaking of unsettling. At our first wedding, when I fainted, that was his fault,” she declared, pointing at Wolfgang. 

"What?” he huffed. “What did I do?” 

“Oh, you know perfectly well what you did.” 

Rajan watched the interaction with raised eyebrows and a small smile playing on his lips. “Oh, you must tell me this story now,” he implored. 

Wolfgang smirked. “Well, I was swimming-” 

“Naked,” Kala interjected. 

“Who swims with clothes on?” Wolfgang demanded. 

"Ordinary people,” she chimed in. 

_“You weren’t so insistent on wearing clothes in the water that nigh-”_

“So, Wolfgang was swimming around without any clothes on?” Rajan prompted, oblivious to the other man’s comment. 

"Yes, and all of a sudden, I got this feeling of-” 

Wolfgang stopped himself. He had been about to explain the immediate, overwhelming dread that had enveloped him in that moment before he remembered, rather harshly, who he was talking to. Kala no longer felt the way she once had, they both knew, but Wolfgang had no desire to offer Rajan an in-depth description of how deeply his wife had not wanted to marry him that day. 

“It’s difficult to describe,” he hesitated, “but, without warning, I was surrounded by what must have been hundreds of people when, only a second ago, I had been completely alone. I looked up, just in time to see her fall to the ground.” 

Both Kala and Wolfgang knew that this wasn’t exactly how it had gone but, upon reflection, they’d had second thoughts about divulging that particular story, in full, to Rajan. The man in question, however, only continued to surprise them. 

“No wonder you fainted,” he joked, sending them into yet another bout of laughter, this one only just petering out by the time their food arrived. 

“Thank you Aakash, this looks wonderful,” Rajan said. 

The table morphed into silence, as they tucked into their food without giving a thought to conversation of any kind, before Rajan huffed out a small breath of laughter. 

“What?” Kala asked. 

“Just, I cannot eat this dish without remembering the first time I ever came here. I ordered this exact meal but, I completely messed up the pronunciation. In front of the entire board of directors,” he emphasised. “I was _mortified._ ” 

“I’m sure it wasn’t that bad,” Wolfgang said. 

“Oh, it was.” 

“You know, I don’t actually know what you do for a living. Not in real terms anyway.” 

Rajan waved him off. "Oh, you don’t want me to bore you with work talk.” 

“No, I do,” Wolfgang assured. “I’m interested.” 

“Well, I’m the CEO of my father’s pharmaceutical company,” he began. “The CEO’s job is to be the face of the company, both internally and externally. If you’re talking on a day-to-day basis, I’d say I spend around three quarters of my time in meetings and the other quarter of it replying to emails,” he explained, smirking at Wolfgang’s expression of pure horror. “I never go a day without checking my emails, even on weekends.” 

“Especially on weekends,” Kala pitched in. 

“Because so much could go wrong while I’m not there!” he protested. “What about you? Do you have a, um,” Rajan faltered, “a day job?” 

"I steal things.” 

A look of mild surprise crossed Rajan’s face, then it was gone. Taking into account everything he knew about the man, from the impeccable fighting skills to his apparent love of grenade launchers, it actually made perfect sense. 

"Okay.” 

“He’s very good at it,” Kala said. “Though, it has gotten him into rather a lot of trouble.” 

“I can imagine.” 

“I’m actually thinking of giving that up,” Wolfgang admitted. 

“Really?” Kala exclaimed. “I’m glad.” 

"What would you do instead?” Rajan asked. 

Wolfgang shrugged. “I’m not sure yet.” 

“Well, it took me years to be certain of what I wanted to do,” Rajan offered. “I started working for my father's company at a young age, but I often doubted that it was truly my calling. I’m very glad of it now though, for that is how I met Kala. Besides, I enjoy the work that I do, and I really feel that, in some small way, I am able to contribute something good into this world,” he said. With that last remark, he sent Kala a small smile, as if to thank her for giving him a push in the right direction in that respect. “When the right thing comes along, I’m sure you’ll know,” he finished. 

“I’m sure you’re right,” Wolfgang agreed, without bothering to hide the double meaning that his words held because, now, he didn’t have to. They could be who they were, with nothing to hide, and there wasn't a damn thing anybody could do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed part two <3


	3. on the right tracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What?” Kala and Rajan asked, almost in unison.
> 
> Wolfgang smirked. “Should I tell him?” he asked Kala.
> 
> Her response was an expression of pure confusion.
> 
> “ _Our first kiss_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this piece, I accidentally-on-purpose got a little carried away and, in the end, it made more sense to split this into two chapters. So, one more to go!
> 
> Reupload - apologies to anybody who subscribed to this series and got two notifications! As I posted this it appears that I deleted a large chunk of it, so the last paragraph made approximately zero sense. Oh well, it's fixed now!

Atmosphere. Within every setting, every pairing and every context, there exists a feeling, a mood, in the air. There are words that remain unspoken and an understanding that, for whatever reason, the tone of a situation cannot be controlled by anything other than its own hand. If, just for one night, a snapshot was taken of every setting, every pairing and every context, an image filled with smiles and heart eyes may be nothing more than a pantomime captured on camera. The people in that picture-perfect photo may all have been fully aware that not one of them had actually wanted to be there. While, if the exact opposite was true, and in that photo not a single person was smiling or laughing or even talking, they may all have been having the best night of their lives. Because a picture cannot convey an atmosphere and, sometimes, you don’t need to smile or laugh or even talk to know that there is no place on earth where you would rather be. There’s no desire to fill the silence with conversation, no need to put an ounce of thought into what your face looks like because, sometimes, just existing in the company of the people you care about can be enough.

It had been minutes since anybody had said anything of value, the occasional sound of satisfaction from Kala, Rajan or Wolfgang being the only thing punctuating the silence. They are all aware that, with certain people, there’s no need to keep up a constant stream of conversation. In fact, after an anxiety riddled day, it was rather wonderful for Wolfgang to not have to speak, or think, a whole lot. Still, inevitably, the atmosphere organically progressed to a place where there was, once again, a desire for interaction.

“So, how are you settling in?” Rajan asked. “Is everything okay with your apartment?”

Wolfgang nodded. “It helped that we didn’t have anything we needed back in Germany.”

“You didn’t want to bring anything?”

“I brought Felix.”

That pulled a laugh from Rajan. One of the first things he had seen of Wolfgang had been his friendship with Felix and, even back then, he had known that this man, who held such unconditional love and care for his friend, was not somebody who needed to be feared, despite his habit of gazing at his weapons as if they were toys.  


How did you two become friends?” he asked.

“He saved me from a beating."

Rajan raised his eyebrows. “Why does that not surprise me?”

Kala smiled. Though she was familiar with this story, she was more than willing to hear Wolfgang tell it again.

“When I moved from East to West Berlin, I was the kid everybody hated,” Wolfgang recalled. “Except for Felix. He never cared about where I was from or who my family was, he just, liked me. You should have seen him. There must have been a dozen of these kids, and he just ran straight towards them, swinging some huge metal pipe and yelling this line from Conan,” he laughed.

“That must be some sort of joke?”

“Not at all,” he shook his head. “No-one will remember if we were good men or bad,” he mocked, “only that two stood against many.”

“That was very brave of him,” Rajan commented.

Wolfgang smiled. “He’s nothing if not brave. He didn’t care that after that, he’d be their enemy too. Crazy bastard.”

“When I first knew Felix,” Kala started, “I have to admit I thought he was a little... odd. Now that I’ve met him, I know that he definitely is a little odd,” she laughed, “and I love him for it.”

“It’s still so strange that you knew him, before you met him,” Rajan said. “You can be connected to people that you’ve never met, through each other. Like you, Wolfgang. You knew me before we ever met.” He paused. “Honestly, I’m still struggling to get my head around it.”

Often, recalling his past is not a pleasant experience for Wolfgang but, unexpectedly, Rajan's musings had catapulted him backwards into a moment that he had not once revisited since it had happened. He had been a different man, living a different life; more was different than it was the same and, despite his usual interactions with his own memories, all he felt at that moment was the urge to let out a giggle with a significantly higher pitch than his own. Which he then did, shamelessly.

“What?” Kala and Rajan asked, almost in unison.

Wolfgang smirked. “Should I tell him?” he asked Kala.

Her response was an expression of pure confusion.

“ _Our first kiss_.”

At that, she only continued to look more confused.

“ _Rajan and I, our first kiss. Before all of this_.”

There was a moment’s pause, then it clicked.

“ _Oh! Oh, yes, you must tell him_.”

Unsurprisingly, Rajan had realised that he was ignorant to at least one form of communication occurring here. “Are either of you going to enlighten me?” he asked.

“Sorry, Rajan. I was just reminding Kala of our first kiss,” Wolfgang explained. Then, he gestured between himself and Rajan, emphasising, “ _Our_ first kiss.”

At that, it was Rajan’s turn to look confused.

“Months ago, I was visiting Kala. Not visiting in the sense of, I was there and she was there too, more like, I was seeing out of her eyes, if that makes sense. You were leaving for work and you kissed Kala goodbye, only-”

Wolfgang had not kept a tally of how many times they had broken put into pure, unapologetic hysterics that night but, if he had, he would have needed to add one more.

“Oh, my lord,” Rajan breathed. “I’m so embarrassed.”

"Don’t be,” Wolfgang grinned.

But other than the slight blush creeping its way along his cheeks, Rajan didn’t appear to be too traumatised by the revelation.

“What did you think of me? You know, before we met?”

“Uh, I didn’t, much.”

Kala’s eyes opened comically wide, while her husband let out a sound somewhere between surprise, amusement and outrage. While Rajan wasn’t pleased to find out that the man he had steadily been growing more and more infatuated with used to not particularly care for him all that much, he knows now that Wolfgang does care, and is cared for in return.

Wolfgang, meanwhile, was slightly confused by their reaction. All he had said was that he- oh.

“No! No, no, I didn’t mean that I didn’t think much of you, just that I didn’t think of you much,” he explained, a slightly frantic edge to his voice. “Honestly, I was more interested in Kala."

The last thing he wanted to do was insult Rajan, the man who had welcomed him into their life, with all of his faults, and done it without harbouring the slightest amount of jealously or bitterness or anger. Not once had he tried to push Wolfgang out, make him feel exuded or unwanted, and Wolfgang absolutely was not going to return that favour by doing those exact things to Rajan.

Rajan, of course, just smiled. “Well, who wouldn’t be?” he asked, taking Kala’s hand in his. Gently, he began circling his thumb in little motions along Kala’s skin. Wolfgang marvelled at how, once again, everything this man did only served to prove his maturity, and love for his wife, one more time, as if he even needed to.

“How was everything for you?”

It seemed that the three of them had been so caught up in one another, that they had failed to notice Aakash approaching until he had spoken.

“Wonderful as always, Aakash,” Rajan complimented. Kala and Wolfgang each hummed their assent, while Aakash began collecting their empty plates, balancing them along his forearm in some sort of glassware-cutlery acrobatics.

“Would you like to look at the dessert menus?”

Rajan smiled. This, he could answer. This, if nothing else tonight, he was absolutely certain of. He was not going to make the same mistake twice.

“Thanks, Aakash, but I just don’t think I could manage another bite.” Then, he turned to Kala and Wolfgang before asking, “Would either of you like a dessert menu?”

The gesture was so irrelevant, his ‘mistake’ truly pushing the parameters of the term mistake. But it was important to him. It had mattered at the time and it still mattered then; he was proud of that fact that he had made a mistake, because the whole purpose of this night was to learn. Not only about each other, but about themselves too, and it was clear then that he had done that. Already he is better at this, whatever this is, than he was an hour ago.

Once Kala and Wolfgang had echoed his sentiments about simply being too gorged to eat another bite, Rajan asked Aakash for the bill.

“Don’t even say a word,” Rajan warned, pointing his finger at Wolfgang.

“Come on, at least-"

“No,” Rajan said firmly. “I asked the two of you out, so I’m paying. No arguments.”

These two men are not connected, not in the way that a Sensate is connected to their cluster counterparts, but Rajan had managed not only to predict Wolfgang’s exact train of thought, but derail it before it had even left the station.

"I’ll just nip to the restroom, then we can be on our way,” Kala said, standing to make her way across the restaurant.

Then, for the first time since he had laid eyes on his dates tonight, Wolfgang felt nervous. Not the cripplingly consuming anxiety that had gripped him earlier today, but a small jittering of nerves nonetheless. Completely bewildered as to why, he cleared his throat, before realising that he had nothing to say.

“Are you okay?” Rajan asked, once it was apparent that Wolfgang was not going to finish his half-hearted attempt at a sentence.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Wolfgang asked, promptly cringing at his own words. He hadn’t meant them as a challenge and he certainly hadn’t wanted to sound hostile, but he had somehow managed to achieve both anyway.

“Because, this is a little odd Wolfgang,” his voice was soft, quiet, “and I’m certainly not okay,” he confessed. “At least, not completely.”

Wolfgang couldn’t bring himself to meet the other man’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Rajan.”

"Why on earth would you be sorry?”

On what is probably the least solid ground he has ever set foot on, Wolfgang doesn’t say a word. With the stakes as high as they are, he absolutely cannot afford to take a wrong step.

“Wolfgang, I have loved Kala since the moment I first laid eyes on her,” he confessed. “Thanks to you, I really feel that there’s a chance, one day, that she’ll love me back.” His voice was a whisper. “The way she loves you.”

Already, a protest was forming on Wolfgang’s lip, something along the lines of pointing out that Kala had married Rajan, not him, but before he could make his argument, Rajan noticed Kala threading her way back through the restaurant. Without thought or hesitation, he grabbed Wolfgang’s hand from across the table. He had not considered that they had yet to reach the stage where casual touching was a frequent occurrence between them, he hadn’t given a second thought to the fact that they were in public and people might actually witness this interaction between them and he certainly hadn’t bothered to ponder what any of it might _mean_. Simply, he had needed the man's attention, so he had taken hold of his hand, the same way he would have done with Kala. 

When Rajan spoke, his features were forcibly calm, tone decidedly urgent. “Please, do not tell Kala I just said that,” he implored. Then, he paused, and clearly heard the words that had just escaped from his own mouth. “She didn’t hear that, did she?”

Despite himself, Wolfgang smiled. “No, she didn’t.”

It wasn’t a promise, but Wolfgang doesn’t tend to make those.

"What did I miss?” Kala asked, reaching their table.

“Nothing,” they said together.

Bemused, and utterly uncaring as to why they were smirking at each other like a pair of idiots, as long as they continued to do so, Kala just laughed.


	4. fin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How’s…” Will paused, weighing up his options before asking, “everything?”
> 
> “Everything is wonderful,” Kala beamed.
> 
> “You look happy.”
> 
> Kala just kept on smiling. “I am.”

It was the perfect end to an even more perfect evening. Kala and Rajan had insisted on walking Wolfgang back to his apartment, even though he lived less than a fifteen-minute walk away from the restaurant. The three of them were strolling down a side street in the City of Mumbai when, through no fault of her own, Kala found herself staring into the eyes of Will Gorski as he brushed his teeth in front of his own bathroom mirror. He was clearly as surprised as Kala was at her visit, but his face lit up into a bright smile, nonetheless.

“Hello, Will!” she exclaimed, slightly bemusedly. “Is everything okay?”

He nodded, slowly. “Everything’s great,” he replied, his words sounding more like a question than an answer.

“How’s Riley?”

“She’s good,” he said, nodding towards the bedroom, “fast asleep.”

Kala poked her head into the bedroom just enough to catch a glimpse of the Riley shaped bundle underneath the covers, her ice white tangle of hair splayed out over the pillow. In that image, she saw the contentment that had been radiating from Riley Gunnarsdóttir and Will Gorski as of late. It was in the tranquillity of her posture, their decision to take a nap in what Kala knew was mid-afternoon in Iceland and the mere fact that Riley was still very much asleep, despite her usual difficulties with both achieving and maintaining this particular luxury.

In the years that Riley had lived in London, believing that she must never return home, she had missed her father more deeply than she could ever put into words. After Nomi and Amanita’s wedding, she and Will had made a slight detour on their way to New York City, and neither of them had yet found any incentive to leave. This, combined with their triumph over the violence and oppression warred against them by BPO and the actual, real future they were now able to dream of, in which nobody was kidnapped or tortured or shot, had propelled them onto a high that showed no real signs of stopping.

“How’s…” Will paused, weighing up his options before asking, “everything?”

“Everything is wonderful,” Kala beamed.

“You look happy.”

Kala just kept on smiling. “I am.”

In a parallel of the way Kala had found herself in Iceland without a moments warning, she was now firmly moored back onto the streets of Mumbai, only this time she had brought Will along for company. It appeared that while her conscious body had been elsewhere, she had lagged quite a bit behind her partners, realised only by Rajan as he turned to his wife and found her no longer by his side.

“She’s with Will,” Wolfgang explained.

“Oh, okay.” There ensued a brief pause before, “I had a lovely time tonight, Wolfgang.”

“Me too.”

For a moment, there was nothing. Then, ever so slowly, Wolfgang brushed his fingers along Rajan’s, back and forth, back and forth. He made no attempt to take the other man’s hand, but the offer was there. An offer, it appeared, that Rajan was very willing to accept, readily threading his fingers through Wolfgang’s proffered hand and gently circling his skin, both surprised and pleased with this turn of events. The action was reminiscent of countless interactions between Kala and Rajan; time after time, including tonight, they had held each other in this exact way and, undoubtably, would do the same many times over before their time is up.

Behind them, Kala turned to Will, the biggest smile on her face. “Do you remember, at the wedding,” she asked, “when you asked me what I wanted?”

“Mm hmm,” he affirmed.

“This,” she gestured towards the two men in front of her, “this is what I wanted.”

With that, he reached out and slid his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close enough to place a kiss to the side of her head. “I’m so happy for you,” he whispered, giving Wolfgang and Rajan one last glance before he was gone. There was no doubt that he was, at that very moment, curled up next to Riley, waiting with bated breath until she returned to the land of the living. Kala had never been happier for him, or for herself.

If she wanted to, she could easily have caught up with Wolfgang and Rajan. Instead, she kept herself a few footsteps behind, the perfect place from which to gaze at these two men, perfectly at peace with themselves and one another. It was a sight that filled her heart with more joy than she could ever convey. In that moment, she wanted to see this, exactly this, for the rest of her life. Each time either man turned to catch her eye, she just flashed them a brilliant grin and kept on walking.

In no time at all, they reached the place that Wolfgang and Felix had chosen to call home. Regretfully, Wolfgang then had to reach for his key, dropping the hand that had been warming his own. He looked up just in time to catch the shiver than ran through Rajan.

“You’re cold.”

“No, no, I’m okay,” he insisted, shaking his head, “It’s okay.”

Wolfgang didn’t say a word, instead beginning to shuck his coat from his shoulders.

“No, really, you don’t have to,” Rajan continued, taking a step back.

“I don’t need it,” Wolfgang argued. “Here,” he held the jacket out, “just take it.”

Rajan paused. His inherent social etiquette and desire to care for everybody else in the world, whilst simultaneously not allowing anybody else in the world to care for him, made him hesitate. Then, he realised that Wolfgang was literally one step away from his apartment, in which he could wrap himself up in layers and layers until his heart’s content. He was damn well cold, why was he refusing this?

“Thank you,” he smiled. “I’ll return it right away.”

Wolfgang huffed. “I know you will.”

Before he could think too much about it, or even think about it at all, he took a step forward, bringing himself surely into Rajan’s space, and pressed a gentle kiss against the other man’s cheek. “Goodnight Rajan,” he murmured, pulling back before the other man could respond. Then, in a mirror of his actions not ten seconds ago, he stood in front of Kala before offering her the twin of the kiss he had just given to her husband.

“ _Is this what happiness feels like?_ ”

“ _I think so._ "

“ _I like it._ ”

“ _Me too._ ”

“Goodnight,” he whispered, then addressing them both, “see you soon.”

The perfect end to a perfect night. Wolfgang turned and let himself into what was, for now, his home. Unsurprisingly, he hadn’t even managed to lock his own front door before he was ambushed by what was objectively, a very over-excited Felix. “How did it go?” he yelled, choosing to ignore the fact that they were close enough that he would barely have needed to whisper to be heard. “Tell me everything!” he demanded.

For the first time ever, Felix had asked that question with a genuine want to hear about the date portion of somebody’s evening. Also, for the first time ever, Wolfgang actually wanted to answer that question. He wanted to tell Felix every last thing about his night, every blunder, every hiccup and every little imperfect moment, and so he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh its finished!! 
> 
> I really hope this did the characters and original plot justice... if not then I hope it didn't do them any injustice.
> 
> As always, thank you for reading <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! <3


End file.
